My husband is out to get me!

Let's go for a walk, my hubby said to me.

Then we can sit by the sea.

So, we sat by the sea on a little rock.

Then he said, I wonder what's over there?

Boy, was I in for a shock.

I picked up my bag and walked over to where he was standing.

Suddenly, there was a misunderstanding.

He said, 'Shall we walk along this short trail,'

and alas, commonsense did not prevail

Being the kind and loving wife that I am.

I didn't want to scram.

But oh dear, silly me.

I had no time to flee.

Instead, I found myself, ambling along on the cliff edge,

and sliding along the windy ledge.

An hour in and I thought to myself,

this ledge is starting to look like a shelf.

Don't worry dear, he said, as he enjoyed the trip,

because he hasn't got a dodgy hip. 

'We can go back in a minute when we get back on the path,' and 

I said, ' Hey mate, you're having a laugh.'

Two hours in and enough was enough.

The trail was getting really tough.

So he gave in and said,

'Don't worry, there is a cliff path up ahead.'

A cliff path, I sighed.

And then I cried.

Eventually, I picked myself up,

with the help of a bush and a shrub.

I was ready now to face the cliff.

But the altercation between me and my hubby was turning into a rift.

Slowly, I climbed up and up, until I almost reached the top.

I didn't dare look at the drop.

Then there came a moment when my knees gave in.

You would have witnessed a marvellous scene.

Stubborn now, I would not let him help.

I didn't really want to yelp.

But no matter how hard I tried, no matter how I rocked too and fro,

My flipping legs would not go.

'Stay there, I'll help you,' my husband said.

There were plenty of expletives unsaid.

Suffice to say, the walk back was much better.

But as for my hubby, my divorce lawyer will be sending him a letter.