We had an alcoholic drink in the garden today while we looked out across the bay.

It's not something we do every day.

It was just a time to play.

The sun was shining and we felt really grand,

until we got so tipsy we could hardly stand.

Seagulls, a pain in the..........

Seagulls, love them or hate them they're here to stay.

Try as we might to shoo them away.

They amble along the road now and ignore the horn.

They treat us with contempt and scorn.

They shriek at the top of their voices at us,

as they narrowly miss the bus.

Chips is their diet now as they steal the food of your plate.

Seagulls are my pet hate.

WHAT SHALL I CALL THE FLY?

Bert

Brian

Bill

or Ben

Billy 

Belinda

Beth

or Bess

NO!

I think I'll call it......

Zeke, 

because its future is looking pretty bleak.

There's a fly in my house and it's feeling brave. It's landing on our arms when it feels like a rest.

It's a real pest.

I'm tempted to swat the thing but I don't really want to kill it.

Basically, it makes me want to spit.

I've tried to entice it out with some crumbs on a plate, and I've led it to the front door.

But just as I get there it flies off and it's really becoming a bore.

It's becoming part of the furniture now and I feel like giving it a name.

Now it's on the window frame.

But it won't go out, I've tried that too.

I wonder if I call a keeper, they'll keep it in the zoo?

I 

Karma, I'm starting to believe it's true

A lot of people say that what goes around comes around, but I've never believed that.

However, the more I live life and see what happens, the more I think it may be a fact.

Treat others as you would like to be treated yourself, is what I believe.

I don't think I am being naive.

But something has happened recently that has made the above seem right,

and I'm glad those people are no longer in my sight.

............

So remember, it's best to be nice and caring just in case,

because in the end, you may become a waste of space.

It may not be immediately, but father time is a patient man.

So, please, try to be nice....... if you can.

Procrastinating

Puttering

Remiss

Out of it

Careless

Reluctant

Apathetic

Stalling

Tarry

Inactive

Neglectful

Amble

Trail

Idle

Negligent

Gradual

Ambling

Get no place fast

Adjourn

Impede

No way

Don't talk to me!

Don't talk to me right now because I've just got up.

My pot of tea I need to sup.

It takes a long time to open these eyes of mine.

In a couple of hours, I'll be fine.

But don't make any unnecessary noises please!

I can't see the wood for the trees.

Just give me a moment to put my body together,

 especially when it feels like a piece of old leather.

Don't whistle, don't breath, don't look at me.

Just give me another cup of tea.

Parks...........who knew?

Really!  Gym equipment in the park.

What a lark!

It's called a recreational area and it's

 for walking and playing in.

I'm not taking this on the chin.

I tried not to take any notice of it, but that bright shiny metal called out to me.

When really, I wanted to go on a shopping spree.

........................

I had to have a go of course

and now I'm walking like a horse.

Sometimes I feel invisible

Jelly Belly

It's not easy watching the telly

with a wobbly jelly belly.

My belly has a mind of its own,

and there's enough room left in it for a scone.

But it's going to be unlucky, because I cannot fit anything else in it.

And I'm not ready to submit.

I've stopped the munchies for now.

Because I'm starting to feel like a Jersey cow.

Oh no! I have the munchies

I've got the munchies and I'm eating everything in sight.

All the goodies in the house I just want to bite.

I started the day really well,

but now my tummy is starting to swell.

It's because I'm in all day,

and from the food, I cannot stay away.

I've had some sweeties and chocolate biccies.

It's making me quite sickly.

It's only just gone two.

There cannot be much more left to chew.

Thankfully, that feeling is waning because I'm having a coke instead.

My cravings seem to have fled.

But it's too late now because I've nearly eaten all my calories.

I wish I had allergies.

That way, I would not be able to stuff my face.

I'd be able to live normally and become part of the human race.  

.

Roast bananas, not a good choice.

I walked to the car, got in and took hold of my piece of fruit.

The heat coming from it was not cute.

I wasn't sure whether to eat it, but my tummy wanted too.

It was crying out for solid fuel.

I put it in my mouth and it made me feel sick, but there was nowhere I could spit it out.

It was gooey, sticky and tacky, and it really made me pout.

That's the last time I pick a fruit that roasts in its own skin.

In fact, it's left me traumatised, and if I ever see a banana again...... it's going straight in bin.

Never Happy

I woke up this morning, Wow! Was I surprised,

to see a yellow flash before my eyes.

I had to squint and turn away.

Because that great ball of fire was here to stay.

Then something happened I could not believe, 

a funny warmth fell over my sleeve.

Then that feeling crept up to my face.

All majestic like and full of grace.

I hauled myself off the bed and walked over to the window and looked up to sky.

It was compelling viewing, I cannot lie.

I was in awe of this wonderful thing until I realised it was getting hotter.

Several times I had to reach for cold water.

As the day wore on, the heat caused some pain

and by the end of the day, I wanted some  rain. 

Afternoon tea

I went to the garden centre today and boy was it hot,

and in the shade we were not.

The cafe was situated in a greenhouse and I was groaning,

because there was no fresh wind blowing.

It was so hot, I felt myself melting.

The heat was overwhelming.

So we took our treats into the garden and sat beneath a tree.

We had a scone and a pot of tea.

Or rather, I had coffee.... for the hell of it,

because I didn't care one bit.

I was reckless see,

it wasn't the perfect cream tea.

So, I opened the pat of butter and what did I see,

the stuff had run all over me.

I've never seen the like before.

Cleaning it up was a right chore.

I've never seen a butter pat melt so fast,

and as you can imagine, the repercussions were vast.

It's fatty tendrils dripped everywhere,

the only thing it missed was our hair. 

I then asked my father to undo the jam.

Then Wham!

It went all over his new trousers and he did not feel great,

especially as most of it had missed the plate.

But hey, the sun was shining and he had no need to moan,

because all the ingredients on his trousers............ added up to a free scone.

Do I feel guilty...no way!

Had a really lazy day today.

I did nothing but eat and play.

While hubby, just as he always does,

ran around the house making a fuss.

Sit down, I said, you make me feel guilty.

I can't he replied... this place is filthy.

Rained off again!

Watching the Davies cup and once again it's raining.

This summer weather is really draining.

They can deal with a shower because it's on clay.

But heavy rain, no way!

Let's hope it's better weather today,

and we have some kind of play.

We are one game up I know,

but there's a long way to go.

So come on weather please get brighter,

and make the atmosphere lighter.

Bring out your big gun........the sun.

Then everyone can have fun.

Business is Business

You work your heart out for a company and they let you slip away like a pool of mud.

You're left to cope in a brave new world and suddenly, you come down to earth with a thud.

Friends of friends, with no qualifications chosen over those who have more experience.

Are they serious?

Of course they are, because we must remember, it's not personal, it's business!
Doesn't it make you grimace.

And just in case you think I've got a bee in my bonnet, it's not about me.
It's purely observational and my interpretation of what I see.

Just plain silly

I want to write something down but I've lost a little oomph you see.

Because lately, words seem to be troubling me.

There are so many to choose from it's really silly,

because I can't just pick them out willy nilly.

For a start, what if I picked the word cattywampus?

Finding a rhyming word with that would be humongous.

NO!  I'll not write poetry today.

I'll do it yesterday.

Holiday bliss

I had a lovely holiday and I feel so refreshed.

 After spending a week with my family, I feel so blessed.

The sun came out every day and we walked until we could walk no more,

and we helped each other attack the craggy tor.

We had fun as we walked through the long grass and scrambled over the rocks,

and we enjoyed all the animals in the zoo, 

including the crocks.

The cavern was exciting too as we admired the stalagmites and stalactites.

Don't ask me which is which, but they looked fantastic in the twilight.

We also stuffed our faces with all the local treats,

and now we're unable to see our big fat feet.

But as an aside.

I can now say with pride.

'Yum Yum, 

I have a pasty tum.'