Moving on

My son graduated on Wednesday, we were really proud,

and the applause was welcome and loud.

He got a special mention, how chuffed were we.

There were none more proud than me.

My son looked dapper in his brogues and gown.

It was all I could do, not to jump up and down.

Facebook was awash with pictures of the day

I could not keep my joy at bay.

I'm so lazy

I'm so lazy, it's just not right.

So, I thought I would write.

I've been playing games on the computer all day.

I just want to play, play, play.

After all, I've got six weeks to go,

and I intend to take it slow.

At least for today,

else I'll be led astray.

I'm just going to give myself today, and yesterday of course.

Then I'll get back on the horse.

Only, now, I need to be left alone,

else, I'll be like a dog with a bone.

After all, don't I deserve a rest.

No! OK, I better get dressed.

Schools out for the Summer

I've got presents galore.

They are all on the floor.

There are flowers, wine, gin and chocolates to eat.

They will be a real treat.

But I'm on a diet and I'll have to pace myself,

or just leave them on the shelf.

But I must remember, that I should not stuff my face,

because eating chocolates doesn't have to be a race.

I can eat a little, now and then.

And I know when!

It would be now, if I had my way,

but my diet says, ' Wait another day.'

But that said, I'm glad the children were kind to me,

and they let their appreciation run free.

Because they are a great bunch of children, who are good and kind.

The best bunch of children you could ever find.

But that said, I intend to enjoy my time off to the full.

To eat wine, gin and chocolates until we go back to school.

But a big thank you to all the children I work with, for it's been cool.

And now enjoy the holidays and don't work to rule.

Soon, I will look like an apple

On a diet and eating apples like there is no tomorrow. 

It makes me feel like a weeping willow.

I'm eating satsumas until they come out of my ears,

it's enough to drive you to tears.

.......................

When you really want a big bar of chocolate in your tummy,

fruit doesn't seem so scrummy

But I'll carry on eating and writing this ballad.

Before I turn into a fruit salad.

Comeuppance

Cars zooming by me in the morning

overtaking me without warning

Going 60 in a 30 mile zone

Ignoring the orange and white cone

Looking to get further than me

Whoopee!

But yesterday, nature got it's own back,

and stopped them in their tracks.

 A herd of cows meandered across the road.

It was a seriously funny episode.

I drove up to them and we all had to que

and the road hogs could not get through.

So let that teach them a lesson I say,

it certainly made my day.

For the road hogs did not get far,

in their flashy ' look at me' car.

It's an Orange Day

Why? Because it is sunny.

And the sun is yummy.

You walk out into the sun and your body is awash with joy.

The rays of the sun, you can enjoy.

Suddenly, you find a smile on your face,

and you finally become part of the human race.

You can stand up straight when you walk down the road.

You don't feel like a damp, watery toad.

You seem to grow an extra inch or two.

You don't feel angry or blue.

You want to go out and paddle in a sparkling stream.

You don't have to walk to let of steam.

So please, let's keep the summer here.

Please don't let this warmth disappear.

Please bring back the sunshine, at least for awhile.

It's going to be the first of July tomorrow.

I hope there will be no woe.

Because it's been raining all week.

and the sunshine we do seek.

We had a three day heatwave a few weeks back.

We really want the clouds to be blue, not black.

So, now that it's July, come on mother nature, please be good.

Bring back the sunshine in our neighbourhood.

If you can't do that, then please just stop the rain.

So Summer will return to us again.

Three days of sunshine, looks like we've had our summer.

Looks like the heatwave has left us, which is no surprise.

But we always have lows and highs.

That's the trouble, we have three very hot days,

and then for ages, we don't see the sun's rays.

But I have to admit, I'd have it no other way.

Even if it rains, and we cannot go out to play.

Because I love the sun and the rain.

So when it pours down, I feel no pain.

Bringing poetry to the masses

I started a poetry club at school,

and eight children came... which was cool.

We did nonsense poetry and it went down well,

and they all wanted to stay, beyond the bell.

They were so eager, it was great to see.

They were all happy and carefree.

They all brought a poem to read and they were so full of fun,

but was sad when the poetry club was done.

So hopefully, I will see at least half of them next week, or even more.

Because I want to bring the joy of poetry to their door.

It's too hot

It's too hot, there, I've said it.

I'm no hypocrite.

I'm going to tell it how it is.

It's far hotter than I would wish.

So what if I've jinxed the sunshine.

That's fine.

Because there is no getting out of it.

It's too hot, even when you just sit.

Just give us a breeze, that will do me.

So I don't have to cool off in the sea.

Salad Yipeeeeee

I'm going to make a salad in a minute, oh lucky me!

Luckily, most of it is calorie free.

There will be cucumber, tomatoes, lettuce, chicken, ham, beetroot and more.

And all the chocolates, pastries, sweeties and goodies, will be locked in the bottom drawer.

Yes it's hot! hot! hot!

I'm trying not to moan because of the heat.

But I have to admit, it's got me beat.

At work today, my face went red and I was really hot.

I needed that old teapot.

I needed to have a cup of tea,

and sit under the shade of a tree.

I'm not moaning about the heat, really I'm not.

but honestly, it is rather hot.

I'm sat here trying hard not to move.

I'm not really in the groove.

The heat has sapped my energy and hot weather is not cool,

when you're covered in perspiration and drool.

Weight loss is not an easy game.

Not having been weighed for a while,

I thought, I'd get on the scales with a smile.

So, a little anxious, I went into the chemist in search of some scales. 

I hurried along while biting my nails.

And then, I spied the scales standing tall.

I thought to myself, I hope there not cruel.

So, the dreaded moment arrived and I walked into the corner.

And on the scales was a sign.

SORRY, OUT OF ORDER.

WHAT!

Don't they know? I'm desperate to see.

That I can eat more than a pea.

I've got to wait until Thursday now to see if I've lost any weight.

It means I'll just have to eat one cake, instead of eight.

If I'd lost something, I could have treated myself.

Now I've got to put those cakes and sweeties back on the shelf.

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Fed up with the election and politics.

I'm fed up with politics, please give it a rest.

It's all over now, you tried your best.

Just accept you lost.

Chill out and defrost.

Stop saying you won when you lost.

Else it could be to our cost.

We need people to pull together and get on with the job.

So, come on all the parties, stop being a complete ....

Having a snack attack

Feeling a little deflated.

Perhaps a little frustrated.

I'm on a diet, and it's a bit of a pain.

My resolve is starting to wane.

No! That's a little extreme.

I just want to scream.

I'm still on course, but I want some goodies.

 I WANT LOADS AND LOADS OF COOKIES.

Nobody has been elected, but it's already affecting me.

My slimming club meeting has been cancelled, that's beastly.

I guess they're using the venue as a polling station.

Oh well, I suppose it's for the nation.

Trouble is, I'll miss my weigh day and I always enjoy what people say.

And now, I have to stay away.

The trouble is, what will happen if I need support?

I still want a good weight loss report.

I'll have to go into town now and have a weigh.

Because I've been good, and I don't want to stray.

But it won't be official until the following Thursday.

I just hope, I can keep those hungry wolves at bay.

But in an emergency, I can always say, the elections hindered my eating plan.

Because I ate too much bran.

A birthday poem for my hubby.

Why do I love my husband?

That's a good question.

So why?

I love him, because I can't imagine my life without him, and when I try.

It makes me want to cry.

I love him, because he makes me a cup of tea in the morning,

without moaning. 

I love him, because he tells me everyday that I look nice,

even when I look like dishevelled mice . ( I know, but mouse doesn't rhyme so well lol)

I love him, because he smiles at me for no reason.

Yes, I'm talking about you Stephen.

I love him, because he listens to me when I've said the same thing over and over again.

And pretends he's not in pain.

I love him, because he's thoughtful and funny,

and his disposition is sunny.

But most of all, I love him, because he brings home the money. lol

Of course I'm going to wear it!

I bought a new top with bold sunflowers on it.

It was a good price and a perfect fit.

But I don't know why I bought it now.

As it's a tendency to raise my eyebrow.

I think I was hypnotised when I saw it in the shop.

It was the price, it caught me on the hop.

But it is not all bad, for sometimes I like it.

Well! At least it's a good fit!

I bought a yellow top!

The sun is out and I don't know why?

I must have been on a high.

I was so excited and was beside myself with joy,

because the sun, I wanted to enjoy.

So, I went out and bought two summer tops.

I really hit the shops.

I bought a dainty blue top that is very sweet, and it will protect me from the heat.

However, the second one, now makes me feel a little sour,

it's white with a big yellow sunflower.

Don't get me wrong, I still like it,

because it is a perfect fit.

It's just that's it not the sort of thing I normally wear,

and I don't want people to stare.

I suppose, if it rains, I could wear one with a raindrop.

Then the sunflower won't be too much of a flop.

I might put my yellow top on tomorrow, to ward of the rain.

After I've looked at the weather vane.

On a diet, and so hungry!

It's not so much, hungry, as wanting everything that is sweet, when I really should be going for the meat.

But cakes are brightly coloured and a joy to eat.

Plus, they are really sweet.

I know apples and fruit are also sweet,

but chocolate is really neat.

When I get my first stone off I'm going to have a cream tea.

Just you wait and see.

I've only got six and half pounds to go.

and then I can have a gateaux.

But right now, I'll settle for a sugar free jelly,

Even though I want some chocolate in my belly.

The Disney ship is coming

There is excitement in the air.

There is something I want to share.

The Disney ship is coming to our small isle.

That's more than enough to make us smile.

There's a buzz going around.

But we need to keep our feet firmly on the ground.

They say that sightseers are on their way.

Even as we speak, the ship is making headway. 

It's coming tomorrow and I look forward to the rush,

while I avoid being crushed.

I'm not going to venture out and get pulled here and there.

But I'll watch the ship get a fanfare.

Because, I can see the ship from my back door,

as I'm virtually on the seashore.

I'll be looking at that ship with a cup of tea in hand.

And I'll be calmly saluting the welcome band.

I woke up with the sun shining on my face.

I'd finally became part of the human race.

So, the washing went up on the line,

and everything looked fine.

Then, you know what I'm going to say next.

The rain came down and I became vexed.

But I'm going to leave it out there,

 and pretend I don't care...

That the rain is coming down big time,

and the walls I want to climb.

Don't get me wrong, I love the rain.

Even though it is a pain.

I like hearing the patter of droplets on the pavement outside.

And the children splashing in the puddles on the curbside.

I like the way it drenches me when I go shopping,

and that, there's no sign of it stopping.

I love the way it makes my hair feel,

when it's wringing wet and sticking to my face. 

It's the real deal.

But today, my relatives are coming down and I want the day to be dry.

I don't want things to go awry.

I want to be able to sit out in the sun,

and to drink loads of wine and have fun.

Wait! I think I see something in the sky.

My mistake, it was a plane flying by.

And now there's a big angry cloud over my head.

Weather wise, it looks like a bleak day ahead.

But truth be told, although I grumble.

I don't really mind if there is a rumble.

Because I like the seasons in this country.

even though the rain can make the air sultry.

Hopefully, a diet to end all diets.

Started a slimming club in the week.

I could say it was pretty bleak.

But they are not the words I seek,

because I'm aiming for a better physique.

My weight wasn't too much of a shock.

I don't have to see the Doc.

But I may need to get a lock,

and go for a very long walk.

I'm not hungry, and I'm not craving, so it's not all bad.

As of yet, it's not driving me mad.

It's not making me feel sad,

as long as it's not a passing fad.

-----------------

It's onward and upwards, with no turning back.

As long as I don't get any flack.

But if anyone offers me sweets in a pack.

I'll be giving them an enormous whack!

Annoyed!

The sun is out and so are the silly drivers.

I feel like a road rage survivor.

There was a vehicle at back of me, almost touching my car,

and I don't care if they've travelled far.

Their bonnet was almost touching my boot.

Why do they have to follow my route?

I put on my hazard lights to show I was annoyed.        

 A crash I wanted to avoid.

But it did no good.

It's was like warning a block of wood.

Then, when we got to an area that said fifty,

suddenly, her car became nifty.

It overtook me at sixty.

Even though the road was twisty.

Sadly, the poor car in front had to deal with her then.

She was a blinking comedienne.

She thought it was alright to tailgate that car too.

That woman belongs in a zoo.

Sunday

Sunday, the chilling day

A time for a stroll around the bay

Sunday, a time to eat everything

A time to buy some bling

Sunday, a time for a roast or not!

A time to eat a lot

Sunday, the day before Monday

A time to think about work...NO WAY!

Susan Day

It's national Susan day today, well I never!

This day should go on forever.

Does it mean that I can pamper myself all day long?

Does it mean I'm ahead of the throng?

Do I get a title for the day?

Do I get breakfast in bed on a tray?

Will I get vouchers in the post.

Can I be the hostess with the most?

Or will life just plod along as it always does?

Or is this subject not worth the analysis?

Love is...

Love is - having that first cup of tea in the morning together, then snuggling up when there is snowy weather.

Love is, laughing at nothing in particular until your stomach hurts,

and sharing gigantic chocolate desserts.

Love is, laughing at his silly jokes for thirty years, 

even though they hurt your ears.

Love is, when he says, ' You look nice,' and you say, 

'No way.'

Love is, standing in the kitchen listening to music together and swaying from side to side

and not wanting to hide.

Love is, when he kisses you for the sake of it,

especially when the room is moonlit.

But most of all, love is when you say, ' Does my bum look big in these jeans,

 and he says, 'Yes, because you've not been eating your greens.' lol

Mother nature is at it again

Blobs of cotton wool are sprinkled on the hill,

leaving behind the daffodil.

And a gentle breeze flows down the vale, 

 and out to sea there is a sail.

A Chapel sits majestically on top of the hill,

 and it's a spectacular sight, despite the chill.

All this, set against the backdrop of the Jurassic coast.

This is a part of England I love the most.

It's not Winter, it's Spring

May, and it's really cold,

and it's got nothing to do with me being old.

 I've put a jerkin on and I'm going to grin and bear it.

I would buy some more slippers but until pay day, I'm skint.

My feet are going blue.

What should I do?

I could put on some socks,

if I could find the box.

I would dot that, if I could be bothered to get out of this chair.

I did once. I had to wash my hair. lol

 I refuse to put the fire on because it's nearly May,

and for that extra electricity, I will not pay.

It's nice to see you again?

Here they come again, going thirty miles an hour in a fifty zone.

At least they can no longer use their phone.

They poodle along in their cars, without a care.

What are they waiting for - A fanfare?

You can see their faces looking to the right.

looking at a glorious sight.

I shouldn't grumble really, because I do the same,

when I play the ' Going on holiday' game.

What!

Nearly a tenner to go the cinema, that can't be right?

Looking at those prices gave me a fright.

I think a letter, I should write.

Oh yes! We're going to see Yoda - my Jedi Knight.

Not really, it just rhymed right.

But I won't be watching it at Midnight.

Because, we are going to see a film about an alien fight.

I think I'll take some Turkish delight.

Oh No!

We've got to go to work on Monday

There's no more time to play

At home I cannot stay

I want to run away

I'm going to have to find my brain

Some knowledge I need to attain

I think I'll emigrate to the Ukraine

Or set up a 'No work today' campaign

But it doesn't matter what I do

I can moan until I'm blue

I won't be able to stew with a brew.

I've got to work this thing through

I've got to get in the mood

Although I'm feeling subdued

I've got to get rid of this attitude

How can my enthusiasm be renewed?

Sadly, it cannot be

I'm going to need loads of tea

because I realise,

I'm still part of the bourgeois.