A wally, with no brolly

Driving home from work the other day, I went through a flood.

Through the water and the mud.

Oh dear! I hear you say, 

No way!

Oh yes it's true,

and obviously it made me feel blue.

But there is more to it than that.

More than me going splat.

The next day I ignored the flood sign on the road.

Because I rarely do as I am told.

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I went through the flood again,

and oh how I wished I'd taken the train.

 I stalled the car and it made me frown.

But luckily, I did not drown.

My heart was in my mouth as I drove the car,

and people could see my worried look from afar.

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However, I did learn from my mistakes and chose another way.

Thank heavens, the garage, I did not have to pay.

Christmas

A time for living

A time for giving

A time for reliving

A time for forgiving

A time for delivering

A time for gifts,

and a time to heal those rifts.

An Ode to the Brussels sprout

Little green bitter balls,

sometimes found on market stalls.

Oh how we love your greenness,

you little harbingers of excess.

After Eight Mints are really cool

If I keep them all to myself would it be cruel?

Of course I'm going to share them, I'm just having fun.

although I could always say, I have two and you have one.

But would I be that cruel?

Not as a general rule.

Although I could make an exception I'm sure.

But would I really be that immature?

Of course I would, I'm going to keep them for myself.

Even though they are not good for my health.

There's nothing I like more than chocolate and mint.

It's chocolate smothering peppermint.

Thinking out loud

Isn't a crush funny when you're older and wise.

When all your food has gone to your thighs.

Isn't a crush funny when you're now in love.

When once you thought you both fit like a glove.

Isn't it funny how time heals those urges,

shortly after those hormonal surges.

Isn't if funny when you meet them in the street,

and their face you just want to beat.

 Isn't it strange when you look at their face, 

and you realise, they were never really part of the human race.

I suppose that's why they say time heals.

Because remember, love isn't really like what you see in the films.

Force of nature

Driving to work today was bliss,

because nature gave the world a kiss.

As I drove along the winding country road,

the force of nature flowed.

Leaves danced in the road as cars went by,

and birds in the hedges got ready to fly.

But alas! on the way home, the smell of manure wound its tendrils around my face,

and it's not a smell I care to embrace.

The week ahead

Sunday is a time to relax and have fun

To pamper yourself and look after number one

Monday is a time to wake up fast

Because the weekend does not last

Tuesday is a time to go with the flow,

and to sometimes say no!

Wednesday is a time to think,

that we're half way through the working week.

Thursday is a time to pick up more supplies,

and wishing you had a pay rise.

Friday is a time when you know you are nearly there,

a time to think about buying new underwear.

Saturday is a time to spend, spend and play,

and leave the car in the driveway.

Over the garden fence

There's a famous daytime chat show on the TV now.

And oh boy! can they row.

Whose the daddy, him, him or him.

It's totally bedlam.

They're airing their dirty linen out for all to see.

I wonder if they get a fee.

The host is goading and provoking the guests,

and the guests don't know what to do for the best.

If they gave me a ring, I'd tell them what to do.

At least I wouldn't make a fool of the few.

But hey, the programmes got me hooked.

I wonder how far ahead they are booked.