Nature 

The view across Chesil Beach today was breathtaking.

The sun was shining and the skies were clear.

No clouds encroached on the land and the sheep and cattle stood majestically in the fields, encompassed by the beauty of nature.  

No words will ever be enough to express the beauty of where I live, suffice to say, the word sensational, does not even come close.

It's such a beautiful day: It's a rainbow day.

Rain has been discarded for a while,

and going out today will be no trial.

I will bathe in the rays of the sun,

not rinse my hair in the rain, which was no fun.

But I'll not worry if it does rain,

or snow or hailstone, because from being depressed I will refrain.

Weather does not mean much to me,

because whatever happens, it's a special thing, living by the sea.

I'm not having my cake and eating it!

I'd like to shop until I drop.

But not much chance of that!

Although I could probably do that in a pawn shop?

But the thought of that, makes my mood flat.

So instead of stocking up on clothes and shoes.

I'm going to have to fill up on a latte instead.

I must admit, I feel a little bruised; I need cake. 

But financially I may only be able to afford jam and bread.

Life without cake and coffee is no life at all.

And pretty soon, I'm going to bawl.

Hush

It's approaching the witching hour again.

When a soft silence echoes throughout the house,
and the creaking floorboards take the strain.

When shadows seem to take on a life of their own,
and make us feel uneasy.
When the fearsome fermenting air makes us groan.

And now that terrible time has passed,
and nothing has changed.
Even though the cosmic void is vast. 

In fact, I feel rather mellow,
not agitated at all.
But I wouldn't like the darkness to be my bedfellow.

Phew

I approached the situation in a calm and efficient way,
and it turned out to be a very productive day.

My claim was upheld, which I hoped it would be.
So now it's time for a delicious cup of tea. 

Patience will most certainly be a virtue today

Today is going to be a very busy day.

I will have to stay strong and not let my mind stray.

I am in the right here and I will hold my ground.....

So, in for a penny and in for a pound.

I'm going to remain as calm as I can,

and there should be no need for that white van.

But when confronting those people, that did me wrong.

If they are rude, arrogant and in denial, I'll be playing a different song.

But first, I need to take a tablet because my head is feeling rough, but despite that, I'm going to try and remain tough.

What I have to think is, what will happen if it does not go my way.

Will I die today?

The answer at the moment is a positive no.

So better go and get ready, for it's nearly time to go.

Help! My M&M's have escaped

Help! My m & m's have escaped from my hands and are rolling around on the floor.

STOP! Don't open that door!

Watch where you're treading, 

can't you seen that I'm looking.

Wait! I can feel one between my finger and thumb.

They're too slippery for their own good, next time, I'm going to buy a hard gum.

The more I try to get them, 

the more they try to flee, but they're not getting away from me.

I can sense them laughing at me because they think I'm giving in.

But I'm going to hunt them down;  I'm not worried about being thin.

But alas, they've gone behind the settee.

So I'm going to get the hoover out, they're not getting away from me.

------------

Well I sucked them up in the hoover and it was not fun.

Because there were crumbs on every one.

Honestly, they obviously cannot see,

what an honour it is... to be eaten by me.

But now I'm going to make their species extinct, because they've given me so much trouble.

From now on, I'm only going to eat an Aero bubble.

YAWN

Up early today, because I had to pick my hubby up from the garage

after he'd dropped off the van.

He probably feels a little sad, having to get something done by a mechanic; especially as he considers himself to be a handyman.

He's spent so much time on that blue toy of his,

but now that its not parked outside, 

things do feel amiss.

But it is only in there for a day,

and I'm wondering, when it comes home,

Will I still feel this way?

Seriously though. it's a great van and it does its job.

I'm just jealous of the time my husband spends with that thingamabob. 

Time now to leave and do something constructive but what? 

There is so many things to do, but I can't do the lot.

I think I'll start with the papers and grab a look,

but not before I go to my Facebook. 

Rambling again.

Perhaps I shouldn't write my poetry late at night, 

because sometimes my body and heart fight.

 Common sense does not always prevail,

and I don't always present a decent tale.

But then, that's who I am and so be it.

Because if I didn't put pen to paper whenever I wished, I'd feel like a hypocrite.

My character is there for all to see,

I'm a poet who is zany and carefree.

There I go again, going off track.

It's a good job people like me don't run in a pack.

See what I mean, it's that time of night, when everyone is asleep,

And me, well I'm off to bed now to count those sheep.

I had to stop counting bears.
Because I couldn't visualise them getting up the stairs.

I'm thinking of becoming a model?

 I'm a little bigger than your average women,

 but I'm not intending to put on a bikini and go swimming.

There's hand models, feet models and models made of ply.

I'm thinking of sending pictures off, then waiting for a reply.

There's plus sized models, that may be the way to go.

Mainly because, I've probably ate too much gateau.

I'm sure there's a niche in the model industry for me.

I'll just go and explore the internet and see.

____________

I've got just the thing, although I may have to fatten up for the role.

I don't want to look like a ski pole.

But I don't mind fattening up for the job, just think of all the cakes and sweeties I can eat.

It's the best modelling job ever, even though it will be no mean feat.

I will have to do a bit of weight lifting in the gym and I'll need  plenty of energy and vim.

It's settled, I'm going to go for the job, even though some people may call me a schmuck.

The advert says: ' WANTED, MODEL DUMPER TRUCKS.'

Just joshing lol.

Career Options

I'm an evening person, always have been, always will be.

So perhaps I should work at night, 

in order to promote the very best of me.

Oh dear, reading that back, it doesn't  sound too good.

Believe me, whatever you're thinking now, stop, you've just misunderstood. 

I could be a pizza delivery girl?

I could see myself giving those little mopeds a whirl.

I could also be a night watchman and exert some force,

but wouldn't I need to go on a course?

For starters, I would have to do self-defence,

which would be hard,

 because any violence makes me tense.

I could become a shelf filler, especially in the wine aisle.

But alas, staying away from the red variety may be a trial.

Or I could become a DJ like my husband and son.

But I don't know if I would have much fun.

Since hitting the fifties I'd rather stay indoors,

because getting down with the crowd isn't for me, 

now that I'm older than the dinosaurs.

I

   

  

I am so annoyed I want to hit something.

I went into a shop in town,

and something happened that made me want to do more than frown.

In a well known shop I paid for my goods and took my change.

I bought various things, there was a good range.

 I did not expect the worse,

as I put the change in my purse.

Then I drove out of town and went to the supermarket.

That's where I discovered a real racket.

I took ten pound out of my purse, it had been stuck together with something.

When I looked at the serial numbers they did not match,

I did not make me want to sing.

When I got home, I rang the shop, but there were no managers and they were caught on the hop.

I gave them my name and said I would come back another day.

I know I'll get no satisfaction ..no way.

Because there is no way I will be able to prove I got it there.

It's so unfair.

But watch this space, because I will go back on Thursday to the same place,

explaining to them that it's an utter disgrace.

So please be careful out there and make sure you look at your money,

because being diddled, is not at all funny.

Thank god that wasn't my last ten pound and I needed it for food,

I would really be in a mood.

But I'll go in calmly and explain the situation,

and if they are not fair with me,

 they better go on vacation.

Because I'm the innocent party here.

But in this situation, that won't help much I fear.

Because seriously, what proof do I have that I got it there.

It really is unfair.

But I've got to forget about it now, 

because it's turning me into a crazy cow!

I need a new bra.

This topic is a bit hush hush, so I'll tread carefully.

Because some people don't like to talk about such things 

and may need therapy.

Well, I woke up this morning and was sad to see,

that my boobs were down by my knee.

Alarm bells rang in my head,

as I heaved my cellulite of the bed.

I'm going to need a new bra on an industrial scale.

So I don't give the impression of a beached whale.

I't will have to be made of iron or the like,

and the pretty little bras I have now, will have to take a hike.

It's going to have to be reinforced so much,

but gentle to the touch.

Is there such a thing out there,

for my non gravity defying pair.

(A rant first, which is not aimed at any of my family or friends)

Fed up off being politically correct

I am so fed up of being afraid of actually saying what I want to say, in case those do gooders take me away.

I see things that are so unfair,

but I'm not the kind of person who reports them,

because I know nobody in authority will care.

So I watch exacerbated as they get away with things they should not, 

and there's no way I can stop the rot.

Believe me, I want too, I really do, but sadly, my motto is:

Do not do to others, that, which you would not want done to you.

So I can't really complain,

because it's me whose being the pain....

While they take advantage of the system and get away with it.

It's sad really, and someone should give them some kind of writ.

But life goes on, and even though it is being done right under my nose,

I'll just have to grin and bear it, because I haven't the strength

or inclination to oppose.

So justice in this case does not prevail,

I just hope someone will spot their devious trail.

The Marathon

Lithe bodies run along the street, 

the finest people you would ever want to meet.

Men and woman running for charity,

with some aged over seventy.

There is excitement in the air and the crowd is having fun,

it really makes me want to run.

People with so many amazing stories, tugging at our heart strings,

It's not who dares, wins.

Diversity is the order of the day

and people are selfless... it's just their way.

So many people coming together for a just cause,

with no time to pause.

It's just the thing we need to inspire the next generation.

To makes us a better nation.

Life shouldn't be about what we have got.

It should be about those who have not.

The Witching Hour

It's that time of night when your loved ones are snuggled up in bed and an eerie silence ensues.

It's when the creaks and sighs of the house engulf you, and you suddenly get the blues

You think of things and blow them out of all proportion, making them more important then they actually are;

things such as: Did I close the fridge? Did I shut the front door? Did I remember to tax the car?

You spend all night tossing and turning and going over things in your head, 

things that were not on your mind before you went to bed.

Although I don't do as I preach, perhaps staying away from the laptop, or computer before you go to bed may be the key,

although it's never worked for me.

I wish I knew the secret of having a truly peaceful sleep,

because when I get up at three to have that wee, 

it really makes me want to weep.

Actually, not getting to sleep has been my friend for over fifty years or more,

and I have strategies in place to help me win the war.

In my head I count sheep, and cows that moo.

In my time, I've counted so many sheep,

I must now have enough to start my own zoo.

_____________

 Now the witching hour is over and it's time to climb those stairs.
 Perhaps, for a change, 
I might start counting bears. 

Because really, I want to own a zoo, and it wouldn't do any harm,
because with only sheep and cows, I'll only have a farm.

We  musn't  forget  it's St George's day.

Although he was not born in this country the English wanted him for themselves.

But believing that he killed a dragon, is like believing in mythical elves.

It is believed that he may have been a Roman all those years ago,

and was born in Turkey to a Christian family, that's what I know.

When the Emperor started to prosecute the Christians,  he stood up for their rights.

To the Emperor he took the fight.

Alas, he was rewarded with the loss of his life,

for supporting those in strife.

-------

If the above is right, then he is the type of man we ought to aspire too.

An honourable and brave man who respected the few.

But not only is he our patron saint, there are others who feel the way we do, 

he's the patron saint of Ethiopia, Gozo, Genoa and Moscow, to name but a few.

As well as that, he's the patron saint of scouts, soldiers, farmers and archers, and on that note, 

to the bravest of the brave, I now raise a toast.

Happy St George's day to all.

And remember. when you've had your fill, please try to stop yourself from having a fall.

For there will be no man on a white charger coming to your rescue,

If you topple over, the onus is on you.

  

Shakespeare, a wonderful Bard

(Your second best bed, what was that all about?)

Not even your best bed, oh deary me, 

and the reason why I cannot see.

Was it a joke or a way to get back at your wife?

Didn't you give her enough strife.

Leaving your family for the bright lights of London, a four day ride,

deserting your former bride.

How often did you return home, once, twice or never?

Were you being artless or just clever.

Had you had enough of being a family guy. 

To the family life, you said goodbye? 

Some people say, that the science and geographical aspects of your plays,
would have meant that you would have had to study hard, was that the way? 

Did you go abroad to study, or did you enjoy married life and help your father in the business.
Was your love for your wife filled with bliss.

I want to believe that you spent those missing years with Anne and your children and was a true family man.
I can believe that if you can.

Then perhaps you went to London to earn a wage, and gain a little fame.
So that you could give some money to your family and give them a  good life, surely my theory isn't too lame?

To back it up, is the fact that you returned home for the last twenty years of your life,
to your long suffering wife.

As for the second best bed you left her in your will, I don't think we should pay much mind to that,
I think it was a ruse to perplex us, making you one cool cat.

Besides, it was the law of the land at that time, that Anne get one third of your estate and somewhere to live.
So she would have been well off, and it wouldn't matter if you did not give.

It may possible too, 
that she wanted that bed as a reminder of the love she shared with you.

But we'll never know for sure what you did during those lost years,  we just have to guess, 
but I want to imagine you loved your wife and family, and would do nothing amiss.

An ode to a very special person

( You know who you are. lol )

This person was born with a gift.

On a gloomy day she can give your spirits a lift.

If you want help or advice, she's always there,

no matter how small your problem, with her, you can always share.

Family and friends mean a lot to her and her smile lights up the day,

and her family know, that her strength and fortitude is here to stay.

And when it comes to work, she's a real wizard as she glides around the place.

One minute you see her, and then she ups the pace.

She's like a whirlwind as she goes about the place,

if you didn't know any better, you would think she is in a race.

Really, she is that fast, flitting here and there.

She's one of those rare people who really do care.

So, Wonder Woman, you have a glass of wine,

and a cup of tea will do me fine.

 I raise a toast to you.

for all the kind and generous things you do.

XXXXXXXXX

Education, not overrated at all.

Susan get off your bottom and put the laptop away.

Is this what you want to do everyday?

What happened to that Shakespeare course you were doing.

You need to find Petruchio and Kate and go a wooing.

So move your body and get a life,

Explore poor Kate's tumultuous life.

Two strong people, exerting their will.

Go on Sue, get back on the course and have your fill.....

off wonderful characters who explore all.

From Kate to Grumio, the fool.

If you don't want a bit of strife,

as he tries to woo his future wife.

Why don't you re-read Macbeth,

for the thrill of treachery and death. 

------------

Suddenly, I fill motivated to enter Shakespeare's world, although should it be a tragedy, comedy or poetry, I don't know which.

I'll look at it later, after I've made a sandwich.  

SLIPPER SAGA 

Oh dear, I woke up in a great mood and ready to take the world on.

Now suddenly, mood wise, things are going so wrong.

I've been searching for jobs that may be why.

Sigh -sigh -sigh.

Or the most likely reason, is the fact that it's raining, 

and I'm tempted to stay in.

But I want to buy my slippers, they're a must,

and in retail shops I put my trust.

I need to feel all oochy coochy,

 and a pair of fluffy slippers will revise me.

So off to the shops with a fiver in my sweaty palms,

I hope that will raise no alarms.

Because I've a feeling I'm going to be crotchety and blue.

Shopkeepers, I would stay at home if I were you. 

CHAT  CHAT  CHAT  IT AIN'T ALL THAT

I'm watching daytime TV and it's starting to draw me in.

Is it really such a sin?

Or is it a way of escaping the real world for a while.

After all, it's only for an hour or two a day, and it does make me smile.

I'm not doing anything during that time, as it takes me two cups of tea before I can face the day,

and I  try to start my housework early, but the hypnotic rays of the TV  make me stay.

Really, it's just a good old fashion neighbours over the fence thing,

and possibly, the time for rhyming.

I mean, who doesn't want to watch people getting in a paddy,

 and calling out 'Who's the daddy?'

................

The worse case scenario is that I like being a fly on the wall,

but do I want to see people fall?

Does it make me feel better about myself,

because I can see people with less wealth.

Do I revel in their despair?

If so, I'm not aware.

..................

Actually, I think it is just me prying into other people's lives, and I't's just harmless fun, but just in case,

I've  turned the channel over to look at the papers, and to return to the human race.

I  NEED  SOME  LIPPER  LAPPERS

I had to throw my Lipper Lappers away.

Because they were smelly and starting to decay.

I can't stand going bare foot around the house,

I'm no longer as quiet as a mouse.

I can hear myself stomping down the stairs,

knowing all the time, that I'm offending my family's ears.

And when I'm sitting at the computer surfing or writing my poetry, I don't feel relaxed without them you see.

So today, tomorrow or next week, I'm going to buy me a pair.

Perhaps spend about a fiver - I think that's fair.

Then my little pinky toes and all the others ones, will be swaddled and warm,

and I'll no longer be kicking up a storm.

.....................

It's strange, I've always wanted my digits to roam free,

I hope getting older isn't changing me.

It will be a pipe next week and maybe a sherry.

Which will be OK, because I won't worry about getting old, because I'll always be merry.

Bed2

ZZZ

ZZZ

ZZZ

BED

        BED

                 BED

                          BED

                                   BED

                                            BED

                                                     BED

                                                               STAIRS

Yes it;s true,

I've got nothing better to do.

BED

I'm starting to ramble and should go to bed,

for when I'm tired and irritable, I can't remember what I said.

But I know, as soon as I hit that bed, I'll be wide awake,

yes, once again, it's because of all that cake.

And the sweets... I know that,

which is why if I'm not careful, I'll get really fat. 

Cakes and sweeties are my downfall and I need to stop the rot.

I need to halt the process of eating the flipping lot.

I said to my husband, would you mind if I stayed the weight I am.

And he said, 'I love you because you're voluptuous, now eat this can of spam.'

--------------
Credit where credit is due, he did say voluptuous, but the bit about the spam is not true.
Because he knows, if he were to say anything like that, I would turn the air blue. 

Oh by the way, did I tell you my hubby is training to be a diplomat.
Yes, it's true, when it comes to feminine issues, 
he can deal with all that.

He's had over thirty years of placating my moods, 
especially when it comes to sweet, sugary foods.  

Who put that cake there?

Yummy Yummy

I've got cake in my tummy.

And sweeties too.

It's my Winter fuel.

But I've also opted for some healthy food,

but I couldn't think of anything to rhyme with grapes,

although I could say, I sneakily ate them behind the drapes.

But I can't say that, because the grapes were healthy,

and the sweeties and cake were not.

But isn't coconut good for you?

Good, because I scoffed the lot.

It was a shame really because I started off with a cheese jacket potato but it wasn't enough.

Then I got emotional and ate a cake, then I found the sweeties, and not eating them would have been tough.

I'm in a catch 22 situation when it comes to food,

I eat when I'm happy, I eat when I'm sad.

But it is called comfort food, 

so not to eat it, would just be rude.

Another cloudy day

The sun has gone behind a cloud

leaving the island enveloped in a shroud.

A dull, gloomy atmosphere parades itself across the land,

and shadows sneak across the sand.

A coldness swirls throughout the house and leaves an air of menace.

I don't particularly like this.

My hands are chilly now as I tap the keys and I'm wondering whether or not to turn the heating on.

But it would mean turning my back on the joys of spring, and accepting that it is a swan song.

The forecast is cold and gloomy, with a good chance of snow.

But it's April and the warm sunny weather should be in full flow.

Sadly, it's our great British weather and I shouldn't really moan.

Because I love our seasons, although just lately, Summers reluctance to show its face is making me groan.

   

I