Square mints are brill

A minty chocolatey smell flowed through the air.

It seemed to be emanating from my chair.

But it wasn't there, so where?

I really did care.

 It was a tempting aroma I wanted in my tummy.

It smelt absolutely yummy.

Then I realised it came from under the tree and I honed in on it, I could not wait...

somebody had opened the After Eights.

Although it was only one o'clock I had to put it in my mouth,

and soon it's coolness went south.

We have to remember that After Eights are not only for this time of year.

You can eat them at anytime to gain that festive cheer.

Bully!

When someone is horrible to us, why do we not tell.

Why do we close up, when we really want to yell.

What is it about us that makes them think we are easy prey.

Is it because we do not want an affray?

Or is it because we are decent human beings and it sticks in their claw.

Because we're not creepy, unnatural and a stinking bore.

Is it because we have a life 

and all they have in their life is strife?

-------------

You mutter under your breath and do not speak from the heart.

You're no better than a stinking fart.

I'm old enough and ugly enough to fight back now.

When you talk to me like that again, I'm going to reply in the same vain - you two faced nasty cow.

So, if you happen to be reading this little verse,

things for you may get worse.

-----------------

Oh dear, she's lowered me to her standard - I'm not having that!

She's just a nasty two faced bat.

But from now on, I won't try and make light conversation that always fulls flat.

There will be none of that.

I won't talk to you until you talk to me first.

Because this is not going to get any worse.

I'll do my job in a professional way.

As long as your tongue does not stray.

I'll take your mumbling, groans and sarcastic remarks with a pinch of salt.

Because I know it's not my fault.

Life is not fair, 

but you better be aware.

If you continue with this attitude, I will report you.

Because your comeuppance is long overdue.

Christmas should be:

Caring

            Heartwarming

       Respectful

     Idealistic

      Surprising

Tender

Merry

     Amazing

   Sincere

Bah! Humbug

Snappy, snappy, snappy.

Some people are just not happy.

Rant, rant, rant.

Sometimes people need a brain transplant.

Bicker, bicker, bicker.

Their dead heart has no flicker.

Down, down, down.

They constantly wear a frown.

Hateful, hateful, hateful.

They are as soft as cotton wool.

I always say live and let live.

But not when they have nothing to give.

I wish they would just keep their feelings to themselves and give us all a rest.

And don't keep thinking that their way is best.

Stop thinking that it is my way,

or you can take the highway.

So, if the above refers to you,

this is what you need to do.

Stop huffing and puffing and tutting,

and seek help for your constant muttering.

Take a rest from always being right.

Because one day, you won't win the fight.

A wally, with no brolly

Driving home from work the other day, I went through a flood.

Through the water and the mud.

Oh dear! I hear you say, 

No way!

Oh yes it's true,

and obviously it made me feel blue.

But there is more to it than that.

More than me going splat.

The next day I ignored the flood sign on the road.

Because I rarely do as I am told.

------------

I went through the flood again,

and oh how I wished I'd taken the train.

 I stalled the car and it made me frown.

But luckily, I did not drown.

My heart was in my mouth as I drove the car,

and people could see my worried look from afar.

---------

However, I did learn from my mistakes and chose another way.

Thank heavens, the garage, I did not have to pay.

Christmas

A time for living

A time for giving

A time for reliving

A time for forgiving

A time for delivering

A time for gifts,

and a time to heal those rifts.

An Ode to the Brussels sprout

Little green bitter balls,

sometimes found on market stalls.

Oh how we love your greenness,

you little harbingers of excess.

After Eight Mints are really cool

If I keep them all to myself would it be cruel?

Of course I'm going to share them, I'm just having fun.

although I could always say, I have two and you have one.

But would I be that cruel?

Not as a general rule.

Although I could make an exception I'm sure.

But would I really be that immature?

Of course I would, I'm going to keep them for myself.

Even though they are not good for my health.

There's nothing I like more than chocolate and mint.

It's chocolate smothering peppermint.

Thinking out loud

Isn't a crush funny when you're older and wise.

When all your food has gone to your thighs.

Isn't a crush funny when you're now in love.

When once you thought you both fit like a glove.

Isn't it funny how time heals those urges,

shortly after those hormonal surges.

Isn't if funny when you meet them in the street,

and their face you just want to beat.

 Isn't it strange when you look at their face, 

and you realise, they were never really part of the human race.

I suppose that's why they say time heals.

Because remember, love isn't really like what you see in the films.

Force of nature

Driving to work today was bliss,

because nature gave the world a kiss.

As I drove along the winding country road,

the force of nature flowed.

Leaves danced in the road as cars went by,

and birds in the hedges got ready to fly.

But alas! on the way home, the smell of manure wound its tendrils around my face,

and it's not a smell I care to embrace.

The week ahead

Sunday is a time to relax and have fun

To pamper yourself and look after number one

Monday is a time to wake up fast

Because the weekend does not last

Tuesday is a time to go with the flow,

and to sometimes say no!

Wednesday is a time to think,

that we're half way through the working week.

Thursday is a time to pick up more supplies,

and wishing you had a pay rise.

Friday is a time when you know you are nearly there,

a time to think about buying new underwear.

Saturday is a time to spend, spend and play,

and leave the car in the driveway.

Over the garden fence

There's a famous daytime chat show on the TV now.

And oh boy! can they row.

Whose the daddy, him, him or him.

It's totally bedlam.

They're airing their dirty linen out for all to see.

I wonder if they get a fee.

The host is goading and provoking the guests,

and the guests don't know what to do for the best.

If they gave me a ring, I'd tell them what to do.

At least I wouldn't make a fool of the few.

But hey, the programmes got me hooked.

I wonder how far ahead they are booked.

Halloween!

Ghosts are floating around

 Zombies are coming out of the ground

 Witches are flying high

Creepy crawlies are making us sigh

Mummies are feeling sick

 Wizards are not missing a trick

Vampire's teeth are gnashing

Oh how they need a thrashing!

Big foot is striding out

He also needs a clout

Trolls are hiding under the bed

making us believe they are dead

Frankenstein is in decline

There's a tingling in our spine

Bats are in the belfry

They shouldn't be set free

But thanks to Rick Astley we don't need to worry because...

I've got angels on my side,

can you see them, can you see them.

It's almost the witching hour!

It's that time of year when the ghosts, goblins and witches come out to play.

But lucky for us - they will go away.

Late at night they knock on the door.

Both the rich and the poor.

They ask if we want a trick or treat.

Then we give them something nice to eat.

Then they fly away with their lovely treats,

while we try and make them fat with bags of sweets.

Let's hope they stuff their faces silly for the next year.

So that that when they come again, we will have nothing to fear.

Let's hope they eat and eat,

 until they cannot stand on their own two feet.

So that when they try to get on their sticks, 

they will be as heavy as a load of bricks.

Then they will wobble and weave until they topple of their broom sticks.

And they won't be able to get up to their stupid tricks. 

It's almost the witching hour!

It's that time of year when the ghosts, goblins and witches come out to play.

But lucky for us - they will go away.

Late at night they knock on the door.

Both the rich and the poor.

They ask if we want a trick or treat.

Then we give them something nice to eat.

Then they fly away with their lovely treats,

while we try and make them fat with bags of sweets.

Let's hope they stuff their faces silly for the next year.

So that that when they come again, we will have nothing to fear.

Let's hope they eat and eat,

 until they cannot stand on their own two feet.

So that when they try to get on their sticks, 

they will be as heavy as a load of bricks.

Then they will wobble and weave until they topple of their broom sticks.

And they won't be able to get up to their stupid tricks. 

Half-Term

Half term is upon us now and all is well.

In fact, all is swell.

Swell, now there's a word

that is hardly heard.

Half-term, a time to play

or go away.

A time to have fun,

walk or run.

Lie ins galore and 

 so much more.

Shopping trips that don't just mean food.

Not using our credit card would just be rude.

A time to read and experience life,

hours of fun without any strife.

Oh yes, there's a lot to be said,

for spending longer in bed.

When that alarm stays still,

and waking up with a start does not make you ill.

A whole week to wallow and mess about.

Whether you stay in or go out.

A time for crafting and knitting too.

Hoping that one size smaller will fit you.

Poems and stories flowing freely and reading books too.

No time to feel unhappy or blue.

A chance to meet up, have coffee and chat.

I'm totally up for that.

But best of all I'll have time to see my youngest son.

To have loads of cuddles and fun.

Warning

But we must remember, half-term is only 7 days.

And we shouldn't completely change our ways.

For come November, we have to get back on the horse.

And rejoin the work force.

This poem is not about any of my friends and family.

What's the point of being miserable when you can easily put a smile on your face.

Then instead of feeling grumpy, you can become part of the human race.

So come on mate, bare those teeth and open your chops,

and I'll treat you to a day at the shops.

Because sadly, being grumpy doesn't wash with me.

Just go and have a cup of tea.

Also, it doesn't hurt to be polite.

I'm not asking for a fight.

Although thinking on it some more,

I would dearly love to knock you to the floor.

Then I won't be smiling, I'll be laughing my head off.

And at you I will scoff.

Being a pain is just hard work.

So just smile you silly berk!

Autumn

LEAVES

CHANGING

COLOURS

BRANCHES

ON

THE

ROAD

TRACTORS

TURNING

AND

REVERSING

MANURE

MANURE

MANURE

Procrasting again!

I know I should be doing something useful.

I know that to be true.

I know in order to do that, I'll need food fuel.

I know that doing too much will make me blue.

It's OK to just chill out and rest.

It's OK  not to always do your best.

It's OK not to always be put to the test.

It's OK not to always be full of zest.

So, if that is true,

why do I feel a little blue?

I haven't got the flu.

It's because I've got lots to do!

Roadworks are so DOH!

In the morning I can travel to work, my favourite way.

But sadly, that route is closed for half the day.

So I have to come home on the main road.

Where I travel along in an automatic mode.

Thankfully, it's just for a couple more days and then my travelling views will be restored.

Then I'll not see rows and rows of cars and won't get bored.

Tired

Tired

Tired

Tired

Tired

Tired

Nearly 

Asleep

D

R

E

A

M

I

N

G

Another darts trophy, I've got quite a few.

I suppose it can join the queue.

However, it's not all about winning, it's about having friends with heart.

Whether or not they throw a dart. 

It's National Poetry Day today

Obviously, I feel the need to write and pester you some more.

Because poetry is at my inner core.

Seriously, no matter what people think,

I will often give you this poetry link.

Because the whole world is poetry in motion and that is why,

it can make you happy and sometimes cry.

Words are a powerful tool and to write is to feel their force.

Especially when it comes from me of course. 

Nature

Driving to work on a Monday morning on the coast road is magical and true,

and there's absolutely no reason to feel blue.

There's cows on the hillside grazing free,

and a breathtaking view of the sea.

There are Geese waddling awkwardly on grass verges and cockerels can be heard from afar,

 as I slide by in my car.

I can't wait to see what happens as the seasons change.

As long as I don't have to fight against nature's rage.

Snow, fog and rain may be on the horizon, but I hope it will pass me by.

To be replaced by an azure sky.

October Sunshine

 There may be a chill in the air but there's sunshine too.

And I know that the Autumn is playing with you.

It pretends it's still summer then hits you with a shower.

Why? Because it knows it's got the power.

Or could it be that summer is still trying to hang on,

and doesn't realise that the season has gone?

Whatever it is, as long as there is sunshine in the air,

I don't care.

WEARY, TIRED AND EVEN MORE WEARY

Yawn

Yawn

Yawn

Sigh

Sigh

Sigh

Sigh

Yawn

Nope, it doesn't matter what order you do it in, you still feel...

Tired

Weary

Tired

Weary

and

S

H

A

T

T

E

R

E

D

Manure

October, and it's everywhere I go.

Of course I know it helps things grow.

But it smells like s....

And I don't like it one little bit.

It's flowing through the air and reaching my nose,

and I worry it may squelch in between my toes.

It even creeps in through the car windows when they are shut.

It seeps into your mouth and into your gut.

It's all this travelling you see.

Mother nature is throwing everything at me.

Still, it's all part of the smell and feel of the seasons and I'm really into that.

Unless, I step into a pile of that brown stuff and go SPLAT!

Tractors

At one time or another, at some time in our lives, we've all got stuck behind a tractor.

And as they crawl along the lane we can't stand any more.

But today as I drove through town, I was met with a tractor parade.

That really made the grade.

Two small combine harvesters trudged along in front,

then 6 tractors behind them made the drivers grunt.

Fortunately for me it did not hurt my pride,

because for once, I wasn't behind them, I was on the other side.

I have only two words to say because the view is poetry in motion.

CHESIL  BEACH

Take your time and don't rush, else forever there will be a hush!

It was foggy, rainy and foggy again when I went to work.

It may have driven some people berserk.

But not me, because I was happy to go at forty miles an hour instead of fifty.

Because usually, when I drive to work I'm pretty nifty. 

But when there is fog around I don't mind one little bit.

They can all drive how they see fit.

I know I have to get to work but I give myself some extra time.

Because I don't want them death bells to chime.

So people don't be in such a rush. 

If you can't drive safely, then catch the bus. 

Saturday

The sun is shining and the sky is blue.

I've got absolutely nothing to do.

Or rather, I've got lots to do today.

But I just want to play.

I might do some writing, get back on that horse again.

But then............

Friday Friday Friday

I've got that Friday evening feeling and I'm loving it.

I'm just going to sit, sit and sit.

I'm going to stuff my face with chocolate biscuits and then moan about being fat,

until I topple over and go SPLAT!

And woe betide anyone who dares to enter my bedroom in the  morning to wake me up,

unless they've got something in a teacup.