When I grow up

When I grow up I want to be an Emu,

because if they feel affronted, they can spit at you.

Or a Lizard, because they are highly strung,

and if you anger them, they will whip you with their tongue.

Or a pigeon, because if they feel blue,

they will simply poo on you.

I must get a life!

Said the doctor to his wife.